The Last Christmas Cowboy Read online

  What was she going to tell Iris? All right, she had never got the feeling that Iris was head over heels for him, but this was... It was horrible. She’d been trying to do a nice thing, and she had failed so profoundly she couldn’t even...

  “No,” she said again. “I... This isn’t going to work. It can’t.”

  “All right,” he said, painfully decent until the end. “If that’s how you feel.”

  “It is.”

  She hung up then, and she didn’t want to look at Logan. She did not want to. Because this was more than just losing a bet. More than being upset because she had been wrong about something. She had very possibly caused harm to the one person she wanted to do something nice for. To say nothing of the fact that she had caused Elliott discomfort.

  That paled in comparison to the potential hurt she might have caused Iris, though. She was trying to make herself care about Elliott because it seemed like the right thing to do. But mostly, completely, her worry was for Iris. And then, if she were honest, secondarily for herself because Logan was standing right there and he had borne witness to this whole thing. And he had told her.

  He had told her a lot of things lately. And every single one of them burned.

  “I take it that didn’t go how you wanted.”

  “Please don’t,” she said. “Just don’t.”

  Something in the air changed between them, and she looked up at him. It was just like last night, except there was no anger. But that same electrical current was there. That same shift in her soul.

  She didn’t know what the hell he was doing to her. And she was still too afraid to ask. Then, he took a step closer to her, and very suddenly she felt certain she knew what was going to happen next.

  Like a key had slid into a locked door and turned it easily, opening it.

  “You lost the bet.”

  She understood.

  She understood, and she didn’t move away.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THERE HAD BEEN a moment where he could’ve still turned back. But with one step toward her instead of away, he passed that moment by.

  If he were honest with himself, he had passed that moment by back in the barn when he had backed her against the wall.

  Maybe he had passed that moment by in the Gold Valley Saloon when they had gone up to the bar together to get beer and he had first lectured her on not understanding when a man wanted a woman. When he’d taken her bet and offered to teach her about when a man wanted a woman if she lost.

  Maybe he had passed it by the first time he had looked at Rose and seen a woman, not his best friend’s little sister. Not a child in need of protecting. But a woman. A beautiful woman whose strength and courage got under his skin. A beautiful woman whose smile and eyes and body played havoc on his dreams.

  Maybe it had been too late all the way back then.

  Either way, he pushed past his reservations now. Demolished them. Wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her forward. There was a breath where he stopped. Just one. Her eyes went wide. Her chest hitched upward, and her lips parted.

  And then, he closed the distance between them.

  The taste of her exploded through him, shrapnel from the impact embedding in his chest. He didn’t know what he had imagined. That it might be gentle or easy because she was young. That he would have control over it because she was inexperienced, and he knew it.

  It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t easy.

  And he did not have control.

  Her mouth was so damn soft, and it was the softness that he thought might bring him down to his knees.

  He would brawl with any man at a bar, even if he was twice Logan’s size. He would be confident in his ability to win. Strength didn’t scare him.

  He would test himself against a sheer rock face, and he wouldn’t be intimidated. He was a man who had survived so much there wasn’t a whole lot that scared him. Wasn’t a whole lot he thought might be able to bring him to his knees.

  But this softness could.

  This softness very nearly did.

  It wasn’t an avalanche. Wasn’t an explosion. It was like the sun. Warming him through, melting ice in his veins he hadn’t even realized was there. And it hurt. Like when your hands froze solid out working without gloves and you came inside and pressed them up against a heater.

  It always hurt. When feeling returned to parts of your body that had lost it.

  That was this kiss.

  It wasn’t what he intended. The bet had been to teach her a lesson, and hell...he’d had to follow it through. And part of him wanted to punish her for torturing him, for refusing to listen. He thought to crush her mouth beneath his and make her take the desire that rioted through his chest, whether he wanted it to or not.

  Instead, he found himself just holding her there, her mouth against his, immersed in that softness, damn near devastated by it.

  Then she moved.

  A whimper beginning in the back of her throat, her hands coming up and taking handfuls of his T-shirt. He didn’t know if she was planning on pushing him away or pulling him more firmly against her. He didn’t give her a chance to make the choice.

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her more firmly against his body, fitting her petite curves to his chest.

  He could feel her fingers tightening on his shirt, could feel the way that she tugged him to her, even just slightly.

  She wasn’t pushing him away.

  No, she wasn’t pushing him away at all.

  He angled his head, slipping his tongue between her lips, and she gasped, reeling backward and stumbling away from him. Her eyes were wide, her lips flushed pink and swollen looking.

  It was the most intoxicating aphrodisiac he’d ever come into contact with.

  Rose. Rose Daniels, looking like a woman aroused, flushed and turned on because of him.

  He had seen Rose in a lot of lights.

  He’d seen her dirty and exhausted from work. Cranky and favoring a leg with a strained thigh muscle after an unfortunate encounter with a spooked horse. Cut up from brambles and barbed wire. Laughing like a maniac while she raced him across the field. Cold and grumpy and wiping at a runny nose. Drunk. Yeah, he’d seen her drunk. He’d been the one to supply the alcohol. Silly and giggling in a way that she would never normally do as her inhibitions melted away with each sip.

  He’d seen a lot of versions of Rose Daniels.

  But never this one.

  Of course, the companion to turned on seemed to be scared at the moment, and he didn’t like that at all.

  So much for teaching her a lesson. Apparently he didn’t have it in him.

  “Rose...”

  “I don’t...” She blinked hard. “I don’t understand what that was.”

  “That’s what it feels like when a man wants you,” he said. “It’s not all this pussyfooting around and texting your sister to get to you. I don’t care what he thinks, he thinks that he wanted you, but he waited too long, and he let you get the wrong idea.”

  “You want me?” She asked the question in the same tone a person might ask if a bear was planning to eat them. Horrified. Shocked. Fascinated.

  “I told you, sweetheart, you don’t know what it looks like when a man wants you. If you did, then you would’ve seen it a while ago.”

  “How long is a while ago?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Fact of the matter is, you were playing with things you didn’t understand, and I told you. I told you, but you didn’t listen.”

  “I’m listening now,” she said.

  “Doesn’t mean anything.”

  “What do you mean it doesn’t mean anything?” Her voice rose a pitch, and he turned away from her, heading out of the kitchen. Rose followed after him, abandoning her stew.

  “I’ve got work to do.”

&nbs
p; “You were going to make food,” she said.

  “Now I’m not.”

  “You can’t do that. You can’t just come in intending to make food and then not make it. You can’t just kiss me and tell me you want me and then walk away.”

  “Which of these things is bothering you more? Are you truly that bothered by me not making food?”

  “I am bothered,” she said, tumbling outside the house onto the porch behind him. “In general.”

  “You’ll manage it.”

  “I will not,” she insisted.

  “Rose, can you not make a spectacle out of this,” he said when he got down to the bottom step. “You’re going to get my ass kicked.”

  “I... I... He’s not here anyway,” she said, meaning Ryder, since that was who he had obviously meant was going to do the ass kicking.

  “He could be back any minute. I’m not in the mood.”

  “You can’t just walk away from me,” she said. “We had a bet, Heath.”

  He stopped, then turned to face her. “I have to walk away from you. Or I’m going to do something that we’re going to both end up regretting.”

  “I already regret things. But you didn’t ask. I’ve never...” She tramped down the steps, stopping right in front of him. She lowered her voice, looking at him earnestly. “I’ve never been kissed before.”

  He chuckled, bitter and angry, and not at all with humor. “Honey, I know. Believe me. I know.”

  “Why? Because it was bad?”

  “No. Because that’s how innocent you seem. Because I’ve known you your whole damn life. Because I’m just a little bit too familiar with the daily schedule of your whole existence. But it’s not the first time I’ve ever kissed anyone. And that’s why I hadn’t done anything until today. I shouldn’t have done that. Just leave it alone.”

  “Leave it alone?”

  “Yes.”

  “You said you were going to teach me if I lost the bet.”

  “Not like this,” he bit out. “It was never supposed to be like this.”

  “Logan, I didn’t even know that I was attracted to you until the other day. I didn’t even know that I... That I could be. And then you kiss me, and now you just want to walk away? Now you just want to...”

  “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what’s best.”

  “Best would have been to never come near me at all.”

  “I know. But I can’t fix that. So I’m making it right now.”

  “I didn’t ask you to make it right,” she said.

  “Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to. I’ll do it all on my own.”

  “Why? Because of my brother? Is that what this is about?”

  “No. It’s not about that. It’s about me. I’m not your knight in shining cowboy boots, Rose, and I’m not going to be. And yeah, our relationship, the relationship that I have with your brother, makes that a problem. If you were a different woman? Well, then, maybe we could just have some fun. But what we have here is worth too much to compromise it for something that stupid. It always has been. It’s why I have never touched you before. I slipped up today. It’s not going to happen again.”

  He turned and began to walk away from her.

  “You’re wrong, though,” she said.

  Her words, as soft as her lips, had the same effect. They hit him square between the shoulder blades like a knife, and twisted hard.

  More powerful than a shout ever could have been.

  “It will happen again,” she said. “I’m sure of it. Because nothing has happened, for all these years, and now two things have happened, and now I know. I know what you feel. And now, I understand a little bit of what I’ve been feeling, too. If it wasn’t going to happen, you would have never touched me in the barn. If it wasn’t going to happen, you wouldn’t have kissed me in the kitchen. Sorry. But I don’t believe it won’t happen again.”

  He closed his eyes, let out a long, slow breath.

  “Honey, it won’t. Because there’s only one other place for it to go.”

  “Coward!” she shouted. “I didn’t take you for someone who’d welch on a bet. I thought you were better than that.”

  “Rosie, I’m trying to be better than this. Don’t make it impossible.”

  She didn’t have anything to say to that, and because she didn’t, he walked away from her. Feeling like an absolute ass. Not so much because he wished it hadn’t happened. That would have been better. No. He felt like an ass because he didn’t regret it. Because the taste of Rose Daniels would linger on his tongue until the day he died.

  Because she was as sweet as he’d imagined. Sweeter, even. Everything he had ever wanted and more. He wished that he could regret it, but he couldn’t.

  And if his friend ever found out... Well, he would kick his ass.

  And Logan wouldn’t blame him.

  But he would still hold on to the memory of that kiss.

  His one taste of the illicit. His one taste of the forbidden.

  It would only ever be one taste.

  And it would have to be enough.

  * * *

  ROSE WAS SALTY. She had been ever since that day in the kitchen. Somehow, she and Logan were supposed to do a blacksmithing demonstration, when they were circling around each other like two angry cats. She didn’t know how that was going to work.

  She wished that she had someone to talk to.

  Somebody other than one of her sisters.

  She’d felt awful when she’d told Iris about Elliott. Her sister’s face had drained of color, and the look of absolute humiliation and horror on there would stay with Rose forever. She still felt so guilty and there was no way she could talk to her about the fact she’d kissed Logan.

  She’d been kissed. She didn’t think Iris ever had been.

  Somehow, Rose Daniels had two men interested in her. And that hadn’t been her plan at all.

  Not that Logan was interested interested. But he had kissed her.

  Maybe she could talk to Pansy. Yes, she would have to swear Pansy to secrecy, but she was much better off talking to her than, say, Sammy, who would immediately run and tell Ryder. It was a shame too, because she knew that Sammy had a lot broader knowledge when it came to sex and sexual attraction. Pansy... She was pretty sure the only man her sister had been with was her fiancé, West. So she probably wouldn’t exactly be... Well, she probably wouldn’t be pro jumping in and experimenting just for the sake of it.

  But that had been on Rose’s mind—when she wasn’t just stewing in rage—for the past few days.

  That was how she found herself walking down the newly decorated streets of Gold Valley, heading toward the police station when she very much should have been off working at the ranch. But Logan’s avoidance made all that difficult.

  Instead, with a sandwich clutched tightly in her hand, she walked into the station, waving at Marlon, the secretary, as she walked back toward her sister’s office.

  Thankfully, Pansy was there, wearing her uniform and looking tough and smart as always.

  Rose was so proud of her sister. The way that she had single-mindedly worked to get this position, to uphold their father’s legacy.

  “Rose,” she said. “What brings you here?”

  “Oh, I just thought I would bring you lunch.” She held up the sandwich.

  “Oh. West is on his way. He was going to take me out.”

  Rose’s stomach fell in disappointment. “Oh.”

  “But I can sit for a bit. He won’t be here for a while.”

  “Okay,” Rose said.

  “You can eat lunch if you want,” Pansy said.

  It was then Rose realized she only had one sandwich. “Oh. I kind of forgot to get myself something.”

  “Okay,” Pansy said. “Since I’m meeting with my husband, you eat that sandwich
, and then you tell me why you’re actually here. Because if you had really come to bring me lunch, you would’ve remembered your own.”

  “It’s just... I need to talk to you about...about men.”

  “Oh,” Pansy said, looking vaguely appalled.

  “I can’t talk to Sammy. Not anymore. Because you know, she’ll tell Ryder.”

  “Fair,” Pansy said.

  “And I don’t want to talk to Iris about it. Partly because she doesn’t actually know anything. And also because I just made a really big mess of something, and she’s right in the middle of it.”

  “Do you mean the Elliott thing?”

  “Yes. He liked me, apparently.”

  “Oh,” Pansy said, this one with a more disturbed inflection than the previous.

  “I know.”

  “Do you... Do you like him?”

  “Oh, no,” she said. “I really don’t.”

  “I thought you wanted to talk to me about men?”

  “I do. Not him. I was just saying... It’s part of why I can’t talk to Iris. Also, you’re not a virgin.”

  “No,” Pansy said slowly, shifting in her seat. “I’m not.”

  “I am.” She waited for her sister to react. She didn’t. “I don’t know anything.”

  “I actually did know that,” Pansy said.

  “Well. I don’t want to know nothing, not anymore. I walked myself into a really terrible situation, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I should... I don’t know if I should go for it, or if I should not, or what.”

  “Well, none of what you just said tells me anything I didn’t already know, which is that you don’t exactly have a rich sexual history. And you didn’t tell me what happened, either.”

  “I got kissed.”

  “Well, that’s good. Normal. I think, the lack of... I think the way that we did things isn’t exactly...”

  “I know,” Rose said. “We are a bunch of weirdos. A bunch of weirdos who have avoided some very typical milestones because of our...our family stuff. But that doesn’t mean that I feel ready for it now. Except I also... I really liked it.”

  “Your kiss?”

  “Yes. But it’s with somebody that I probably shouldn’t have kissed. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do, because he said it’s not going to happen again. But I think it could. I think it could if I...if I pushed him.”