His Pregnant Princess Read online

  “Perhaps,” she bit out, “but I’ll be damned if I allow emotions and a tight timeline to force me into making decisions that will direct the rest of my life. Fine for you, Liam. You aren’t the one who would have to marry—”

  And suddenly he exploded into motion, pacing the room, his muscles tight, speaking of barely leashed violence. “Fine for me?” he asked, his voice rough. “Because I am only deciding whether or not I will ever hold my son or daughter, or if I will spend my life protecting the man who is raising her as his own while never allowed to touch a hair on her head. Yes, that is fine for me, Alys. Just fine.”

  “That isn’t what I meant. But you can go on and choose someone else. Have children with someone else that you want and I will...”

  “But I won’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I had never planned on marrying again. I don’t see why I would change those plans.”

  A weight hit her hard in the stomach. That was something she’d never considered. That he might mourn the loss of the child in his life, but not of her.

  That he would want fatherhood without marriage. Although in their position they both knew it was impossible.

  “Well, then. Well.” She stiffened and tried to look imperious. But she’d never been that good at imperious, and in front of Liam, who knew everything about her, from her favorite color to what she looked like without knickers on, it seemed beyond a joke.

  What she needed was a break, time away. But of course she couldn’t have time away, not alone. When she went somewhere, even if there was no one else present, she always had to bring...

  She looked up. “Liam, I am planning on taking a short holiday to the family chalet.”

  * * *

  Liam cursed her fine ass a thousand times as he followed her into the chalet. It was impossible to keep his eyes from lingering there. She was in a fitted brown jacket that was designed to insulate her from the cold, and in tight matching pants that hugged her perfect behind in such an intimate fashion that the pants might as well have read “Liam, keep your eyes on this spot.” It would have been redundant, however, because they said it anyway.

  And he was stuck up here with her. His pregnant princess, in a remote home up in the mountains. It was by no means empty. There were staff everywhere, just as in the palace, but as far as someone like Alys was concerned, someone who was accustomed to letting employees blend into the background, this was quite alone.

  Alone as they’d been the night in the hotel. The night he had taken advantage of his position, of her, and had altered the course of their lives forever.

  Yes, it was far too much like that.

  The door to the massive home opened and a woman dressed in a black-and-white uniform greeted them with a nod of her head. “Princess, we were expecting you.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “I trust my room is made up?”

  “Yes, Princess.”

  “And a room for my bodyguard, as well. I should like him to be near to me.” She looked at him, her eyes luminous and filled with mischief.

  If he hadn’t known her so well he might have missed the mischief.

  “Of course, Princess.” The woman kept her tone bland but Liam had a feeling she suspected something. Of course, she would never voice it. That was how she’d come to her position, he was certain. By being circumspect in all things. And never questioning the commands of a royal. “Shall I give you adjoining doors?”

  Oh, yes, she definitely suspected.

  “For my safety,” Alys said, her eyes still on him, burning a hole through him, “I think that would be a very good idea.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  HE OPENED THE adjoining door between their rooms at 11:01 p.m. He hadn’t been able to take it anymore. She’d gotten them adjoining rooms for a reason—she’d brought them here for a reason. She was scheming, and he knew it.

  She was seducing him, and she knew it.

  But to what end?

  And then, when it was after eleven and she still hadn’t come to him, he hadn’t been able to stand it for another moment. His body was hard and aching, his heart thundering, jumping at the slightest movement.

  He felt like a teenage boy instead of an experienced man in his thirties. But then, where Alys was concerned, that had always been the case.

  She had always affected him. Always.

  He stepped into her room and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark. She lifted her face, the shaft of light coming from his room spilling across her features. Beautiful golden eyes, pert nose, full pink lips. Lips that haunted his dreams, and had done for far longer than he cared to admit.

  “What’s your game?” he asked.

  “What is my game?”

  “You have us put in adjoining rooms, after you’ve brought me up here to this remote location, and then you don’t use the bloody door? What game is that?”

  She smiled slowly. “I suppose I was hoping you would use it. I put myself out there already. I took a chance on you once. I thought it might be nice to see if you would risk yourself.”

  He laughed, humorless, the sound pulled from him by a force he couldn’t control or understand. “You wanted me to risk myself? Alys, you foolish girl, I risked myself the first time I ever thought of touching you. Do you have any idea of the risk? Of what your father could have done to me? I grant you we don’t live in medieval times, but it would not be a stretch to prove that I had somehow taken advantage of my position of authority.”

  “I’m a princess,” she said stiffly. “I have the authority.”

  “No, you don’t. And you know that. That is the part of this relationship, bodyguard and client, that becomes tricky. Because if you do not do what I say in a dangerous moment, it could be the end for both of us. That’s why when it comes down to it, though your family may pay my bills, in so many ways I call the shots. I am the man you must look to in situations where threats are involved, and that makes it... It makes it inappropriate for me to have touched you as I have. It was more than a risk. It was against my honor. Against the code I live my life by. It was disrespectful to you, as we both knew nothing could come of it.”

  “I wanted it—how was it disrespectful?”

  “You might have wanted it, but did you want the consequences? I should have been the one making sure we were safe, and I did not.”

  “We weren’t planning on having sex that night, not with anyone. I think we both happily blocked the existence of condoms from our minds so we could have what we wanted.”

  “You were a virgin,” he said.

  “So? I know what a condom is. Prevents pregnancy and STDs. I may be able to claim innocence, as such, but not ignorance.”

  Yet again, she made him laugh when it felt as if nothing at all was funny. “No matter, I suppose. What happened happened.”

  “And...I would like for it to happen again,” she said, the words rushed.

  “Again?”

  “Yes. For heaven’s sake, I’m already pregnant. I’m already miserable and sick at the thought of having to be with another man when you’re the one that I want. I might as well have you now. Until it’s impossible. Until I can never have you again, because right now there’s no marriage vow stopping me and until the moment there is...”

  “You’re engaged, Alys,” he said, his voice soft.

  She shook her head. “I know. And I’m pregnant with your baby. So...so what wins there? This engagement that has no feelings in it. No desire, no love...or this?” She got up from the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his.

  The touch of her mouth on his sent a bolt of lightning through him, a shock of electric need that raced from his lips to his heart, and down lower.

  Just a kiss. So soft, so innocent, really, and it had the power to undo him.

  That was Alys in a nutshell. The surface of her was softness, innocence and beauty. But it was the core of steel that ran through her, the strength, the cleverness, the determination, that d
efined her. That made her a force he couldn’t deny or resist. A force even he couldn’t stand strong against. Bullets were one thing, but Alys on a mission was another.

  Of course, the bullet he’d taken had been for her. Perhaps that was why the decision had been easy. Perhaps he had wanted her even then.

  Wrong to admit. She’d been sixteen at the time. And he’d gone on to marry someone else.

  He’d also divorced that someone else because Alys had remained his priority. Professionally only, of course. He had never violated his marriage vows and never would have, although...although now he wondered if Alys had owned more of his heart than he’d ever realized.

  It had never been half so much about duty as he’d imagined.

  Certainly now, with her soft lips against his, it wasn’t about duty. It was about this great and terrible need that seemed to pull at him from every direction. That demanded he give up every part of himself. To this. To her.

  And he surrendered to it.

  He let himself feel it. That this was what he’d wanted for years. That she was all he’d ever really wanted.

  Other desires had never been this pressing. This urgent. They had never felt as necessary as breathing, but kissing her did. Putting his hands on her skin did.

  Removing her clothes, and his, so he could feel her body against his—absolutely integral to his survival.

  He laid her on the bed and kissed the curve of her breast, her neck. Slid his hand down her thigh and pulled her leg up behind his back as he thrust deep inside her. She arched against him, a short cry on her lips as he rode her, drove them both to completion.

  And then, afterward, he held her. Because tonight he was indulging himself, and that didn’t just mean touching her and tasting her. It meant being with her. Like this. Skin to skin with his woman, his lover.

  She snuggled against him, sighing, and he let his fingertips drift over her hip, down to the curve of her breast.

  “Do you know the saddest thing, Liam?” she asked.

  “What?” He didn’t want to know the saddest thing. He knew too many sad things about the situation as it was.

  “He’s not going to be half the father you would be.”

  His gut tightened. “You think?”

  “You’re so strong. So wonderful. You know just when to be hard and when to be soft. Like now.” She put her hand on his, where it was tracing patterns on her skin.

  “I’ve never had any experience with children,” he said, his hands going to her stomach now. He rested his palm on her and felt a wave of emotion for the life inside her. For her. For everything he couldn’t have. “But I’ve been a husband before, Alys, and I didn’t do a very good job of it. Perhaps you should just be thankful you’ll have him as a husband instead of me.”

  She wiggled away from him and sat up, on her knees, her hair spilling over her shoulders, breasts bare. “I won’t,” she said. She put her hands on his face. “Don’t you know that by now? Don’t you know that if the entire world fell away and there was no responsibility, no nations, no palaces or principalities or kings, that I would choose you every time? Don’t you know it? Always, Liam, from the moment I set eyes on you. Even when you were husband to another woman. Even when I shouldn’t have looked at you, it was always you that I wanted.”

  “Alys...”

  “No, that’s not fair. I’m allowed to say things even if you don’t like to hear them.” She moved to straddle him, pushing him back, her thighs on either side of his, her hands planted on his chest. “Liam Ryder, you are my fantasy made flesh and you ought to know it.”

  He put his hands on her hips. “Alys, you can’t have wanted me for all that time.”

  She shifted against him and he started getting hard again. Wanted to be joined to her again. What would he do when she was with another man like this? Knowing another man was touching her?

  Worse than that, what would he do knowing he could never touch her again?

  “I did,” she said, shifting, taking him inside her body. “I do.”

  And then they didn’t talk anymore until they’d both found their way to ecstasy.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “I LOVE YOU.”

  The words sounded so loud in the quiet bedroom. They sounded even more foolish out loud than they had in her head. What was she thinking? Well, she wasn’t thinking. She was feeling. And she finally knew what to call the feelings that she’d had for Liam for the past eight years.

  She felt him jerk beneath her, move away from her. “What?”

  “I love you, Liam. I have for so long. That’s why... That’s why I never found a man other than Damien to marry. I was far too focused on you. How could I ever want another man when every piece of me has been devoted to loving you for so long?”

  “You can’t mean that,” he said, his voice rough.

  “Why not? Who else should I love? Who else should I love but the man who protects me? The man I confide my deepest fears to, the man I adore above all else? The man who has my respect and also respects me. The man I can laugh with and cry with. You’re all of those things. You were all of those things before you ever became my lover or the father of my baby and now you’re those things, too. All that’s left for you to be is the man who loves me.”

  “I can’t,” he bit out.

  “Why not? Because your first marriage was so hard?”

  “No,” he said, getting out of bed and pacing, completely unconcerned with his nudity. “My first marriage was so hard because of you. Because you filled my days and my nights, because when I wasn’t with you, I was worried about you. Because I couldn’t fathom even taking a honeymoon for fear that someone else would be left in charge of you and that they wouldn’t keep you safe the way that I would.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “Well, now you do. Because I was there that day. I saw that man pointing a gun at you. And I couldn’t even think of doing anything but stepping in front of that bullet. There was no other thought. There was no waiting to see if your personal bodyguard would notice. Protecting you is my life.”

  “But do you love me?”

  “I would—I will—die for you, Alys. I don’t know what you want to call that. Call it duty if you wish. Call it... Call it something else. But that’s what it is. That is what I feel. And it’s the best I can do.”

  “And you think you can’t protect me while being my husband?”

  “I have learned that I cannot have a life that extends outside of protecting you. It doesn’t work.”

  “And what of my life, Liam? What of me? And your child? You’ll just...stand by and protect me while I marry another man? While that man raises your child? While I have other children with him—children that should be yours—and share a bed that should be ours with someone I don’t even want?”

  “You will learn to love him,” he said, his voice rough.

  “I didn’t have to learn to love you. My love for you grew in me, even when I tried to stop it. Like a stubborn, flowering weed in the middle of a carefully groomed lawn. One that couldn’t be cut down or snuffed out because the roots have gone too deep. And I know it’s out of place, and wild when everything is so contained, but I don’t even care. I’ve let it take hold, because I want nothing else. I want you. Forever. I want you to marry me. Marry me, Liam, please.”

  He froze. “You know that’s impossible. There is the chance you will lose your place on the throne.”

  “Only the chance,” she said. “And I’m sure I can make my father see. I am having your child.”

  “But the chance is too great.”

  “No, it’s not too great.”

  “And how will I protect you? How will I protect the baby? I can’t be both. I can’t do both,” he said, his voice ragged.

  “Why not? What better way to protect me than to sleep beside me every night?”

  “I cannot be a royal, Alys. I cannot ride in a car with you while other men are out there watching for your safety. I cannot put on a tux while o
ther men put on bulletproof vests. Because that’s the danger there is. And it’s a danger you’re not supposed to have to deal with. I bear the burden so that you’re relieved of it—that’s the idea. That I pay attention to all possible dangers so you never have to feel a moment of paranoia.”

  “You forget something,” she said, her voice soft. “You forget that the day you took a bullet for me, I was there. That I am well aware it was meant for me. That even though I wasn’t hit, I appreciate it all for what it was. An attempt on my life. A show of the danger I face in this world. I know it, and I choose not to dwell on it.”

  “Because I am behind you,” he said. “I dwell on it so you don’t have to. And it’s even more important now.”

  “So you’re scared for me? That’s it?”

  “Yes.”

  “And because of that you have to say no?”

  “Yes,” he said, his tone vehement.

  Pain stabbed at her, her heart tearing into pieces. “What if I said I don’t believe you?”

  “And why don’t you?” he asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

  “Because I don’t think you’re protecting me. I think you’re protecting yourself. I think you’re afraid to love me. I don’t know why, but I think that’s the real problem.”

  “I’m not afraid of anything, Alys. I’m the one with the means to protect.”

  “Except you can’t protect yourself from this. From feelings and pain that come from inside of you, and I think that’s what scares you so much.”

  “You think you know me better than I do?”

  “I do. Because when you talk, I listen. And when you don’t talk, I study you. I have for years. And I’ve learned a few things about you. You’re so comfortable giving everything to me. Protecting me, risking your life for me. But taking something from me? Taking love? That scares you. Because you’re afraid of what might happen if you need me. You’re afraid.”

  “Are you going to call me names next because I can’t give you what you want?”

  “Would it help?”

  He shook his head. “No. I am decided.”